Sunday, December 12, 2010

Friday, December 10, 2010

Thank you, dear friend

I had the most wonderful thing happen to me tonight!!

I admit, things have been tough on us lately.  For various reasons, and nothing grandiose like a death in the family or anything like that.  It's just a bunch of those small things--and a few pretty serious things--that add up and make it a little difficult to not feel overwhelmed by everything.

I know you all know Camden and I have been sick this last week.  That's not the half of it, but a great contributor to our madness.  I had all these great plans for Christmas, and haven't been able to accomplish many of them because I've been fairly exhausted.  Which of course, makes it difficult to feel productive and successful, which may or may not put me even more down in the dumps.  We have had some very good moments too among those hard things (I feel like I've been down on the blog a lot lately) so here is one of the great blessings we have received.

Last night, I was contemplating all of the things I still need and want to do (this week and before Christmas).  There was a long list of things, but I knew some of the more important included grocery shopping for the next week and getting the info for my other job so I could complete payroll before Monday.  We need the work and the money, so we can cover the bills and try to make it go toward the coming year if Dev doesn't get a job, and I wasn't able to work my nannying job most of this week because I didn't want to infect the other little kiddos, as they certainly agreed. :O)  

Lo and behold, as I was right in the middle of the previous thought, we get a ding-dong.  I bound into the bedroom so no one has to see me in my sick clothes (read, a robe) and Devin goes to answer the door.  No person is there, but there is the following on the doorstep.

 With the following note

 Which reads: 
Merry Christmas, Romneys!

We would write this in a poem, and wrap everything up
read cute, but we're not that talented.
So, Instead we'll just say:

We got a little something for adults only!
Great for a night out.

Some things for the little guy
(and gift receipt in case they're the wrong size or style)

And ingredients for some meals and treats we love.
Wishing you a wonderful holiday season!

a few secret elves
(Devin proceeded to yell "Thank you" as loud as he could for whoever-it-was to hear.  I hope they did!)

Recipes for MEALS (FOUR to be exact--just the number I needed)! And all the ingredients needed to make them!  Which means I no longer have to go shopping for the next full week (we'll just pick up a few minor things like milk--Devin can even do that pretty easily)!

I broke into some serious tears (which I still continue to do every time I think about this).  From the bottom of my heart, I could not be more grateful!  It was the perfect gift at the perfect time.  The Lord is truly watching out for us through some angels right now.  It means so much to me to have someone put that kind of thought into us.  We've had some wonderful friends who have done so much for us this year and for that, I am just so appreciative.

I remember when I was younger, we used to do something similar to what was given to us tonight.  I loved that tradition and am excited to bring that tradition back into my own little family so we can pass it on.  It truly touches people's lives more than I ever thought possible--so Christlike and service-filled at this special time of Christmas.

Thank you, dear friend, for your thoughtful gift.

(And Camden sure thinks it neat, too!  He is really enjoying taking the things in and out of the bags, tossing his ball inside--to make a basket, and stacking the canned food items on top of one another)

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Take 2 of 2

I don't do Christmas cards.

Maybe that makes me an awful person, but there are very few reasons I actually like them; especially nowadays when technology has allowed us to become so consumed in other people's lives throughout the year that it no longer seems logical to send out the same information via Christmas letter.  Not to mention the fact that when I get a whole stack of Christmas cards, I just don't know what to do with them.  I hate clutter, and I hate throwing things away.  True, it is my own personal weakness for which repudiation is needed, but seriously, they become momentos to me that I....(choke) treasure.  I have to hang them on my refrigerator and then--a few months later--convince myself it's time to take them down, and worse, load them into my scrapbook, special box for special items (which I never view again until it's time to fill it with MORE), or some sort of journal.

(I do like that most people are converting to e-mailed Christmas letters--considering it lessens my refrigerator load, but still allows the wonderful creativity which is CHRISTMAS)

Everyone sees a little too much of my family through Facebook, this blog, (and perhaps even in person) to really justify sending out MORE anyway.  But I still want to get pictures taken EVERY year (this not being something we ever really did growing up--not regularly anyway) because I think it is so fun to document and laugh at all of the funny styles we thought to be so very fantastic at the time!  Plus, isn't it wonderful to see how your kids have grown and multiplied through the years (or your dog--because at one time, I did want to take family pictures with my little Scruffy--too bad Devin didn't like him--or anyone else besides me, for that matter). 

This post is documenting take 2 of 2 for Camden/Family pictures 2010 because the first time failed miserably.  Not by any fault of our photographer,  mind you.  I had everything all ready.  Props in the car.  Camden carefully dressed and combed--his hair a tad shorter at the time--happy, and even in his car seat.  Driving away, JaNae and I hear the sound all mothers dread.  Gagging, vomiting, spewing, and sopping-wet-falling-down.  Camden was vomiting., his car seat, clothing, props! We turned right back around, cleaned up, and didn't attempt going out again as he continued to vomit all over my family room, his bedroom, blankets, and replacement clothing (on both our parts).

Fast forward a few weeks and here are our family pictures taken for this year (and probably all of my future years for decades to come) by my fabulous sister, JaNae! Not quite as carefully planned, but still turned out fabulously--DUH because if she's fabulous, that's the only way they COULD turn out!  JaNae has a real talent--one I wish she'd pursue more, because this is what she does without any training--AT ALL!  (And we are no easy bunch to shoot--on this second attempt, Camden wasn't quite as pleased to be taking pictures).  Anyway, without further adieu, our 'The Romney Clan 2010' photo album, specialty of JaNae is LoveLee Photography.

(DUDE, this shutterfly slideshow thingie really does some distortion damage!  Click on the link to make it larger and it does a better job.  Because, I just can't allow you to believe that is the type of work JaNae really does, nor is it what we really look like; and I don't have time to save each file individually in the nice format they should be in order to repost them here.  Excuse my laziness, but don't you be lazy)  :O)

Ok, but seriously, keep sending your paper Christmas cards our way anyway.  I'd hate to miss an update of people who are so dear to my heart (and sometimes the e-mailed versions don't work, as I've come to find out)!

P.S.  Turns out, when you're sick, you have lots of time for blogging, so be sure, if you're interested, to note this is not the only thing I posted today

I'm a leaf on the wind

I am SOOO covered in snot right now.  Wishing this virus of Camden's (and now mine) would go away for good.  Didn't we just get over this, like 3 weeks ago?!

Poor little Camden.  Took him to the doc yesterday and did a swab of his throat for strep.  (We've seriously been to the doctor to do said swab tests no fewer than 6 times in the last 3 months).  His throat was so bad, the swab came back with blood.  But still, no strep.  He's never had, not once, and I have to admit, I sometimes come away a little disappointed that it isn't.  At least with strep, you can get antibiotics to aid in gaining full health.  With this virus, all I can give him is tylenol and ibuprofen--for the fever, and another type of medicine to numb his throat while he rides out the sickness.

We're still managing to have a little bit of fun.  With pretzels, no less.  Still, there are some unhappy faces.  His lack of clothing= too high a fever, so we need to keep it down+more cuddles for MOM :O)

I will spare you the pictures of me :O)

On another note, Devin has a few interviews this week.  Hopefully, one of them will produce a future career (and by future, I'm talking, in the next two weeks, please).  Construction management is a tough field, as are many, in obtaining a job right now.  All in all, I am not sure what we will do if he can't find one quickly.  I think I've mentioned he will lose his current job because he will no longer be a student (GRADUATION IS IN SIGHT, BABY!) and so there aren't many options for us.  We do have a few, which is better than some people, I know.  Because of that, I haven't been too worried overall.

Yesterday afternoon, I had my first semi-panicky moment.  I have otherwise stayed unbelievably calm for my personality type in this situation, so I am quite pleased the Lord has blessed me with peace.  I do feel, however, that He wants me to feel SOME urgency, hence the semi-panic yesterday--in which case, I started getting on Devin's e-mail to write to potential employers I know he hasn't had time to contact yet. (No, I didn't actually send the e-mails)

I have mixed emotions.  I love the friendships I have gained, am currently gaining, and could possibly gain here in Utah (add to that the self-improvement I've measured), so I would love to stay here--not to mention how WONDERFUL I would feel to be able to continue our close proximity to so many of Devin's and my siblings.  We just love them! (And a few more will probably be added next year)  But I would also like Camden to be near his grandparents.   A job opening in LAS VEGAS (and if you knew how bad their economy is right now, you would certainly see this as a miracle) and a slight POSSIBILITY that we could end up near our family there, kind of increases my desire to live there too.  But I, believe it or not, have learned to love Utah.  Note: I should pull up some of my journal entries prior to moving here (they didn't have blogger then) so you can know HOW MUCH I loathed the idea of Utah and coming here for school.  That is also one of the many miracles of miracles. I may just miss it here. (But I'll save that for another post--IF we end up leaving after all).

I guess I just need to learn from that experience that I will love anywhere I go.  Ultimately, it may take some time, but because I love people and culture, and my family, anywhere I go will be desirable-ish :O)  Even if we end up in Afghanistan (REALLY!  He applied for a job THERE this past week!!).  I think I'm not quite THAT desperate...yet

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Love, Actually

I don't know about you, but since we've had a child, our relationship has been anything but the easy-to-maintain relationship we had prior to Camden's birth.  Lucky for me, I still have a great husband, and a desire to work on that; so, I was thrilled when I saw my ever-so-talented friend's blog with a link to THIS

(Shhh....don't tell my husband)

The crazy thing is, we used to do so many FUN things on our date nights, and now we hardly have the energy.  I am glad to know this website promotes things that cost little to nothing, we can use our creative minds (which when I begin, always gets a little out of hand and it really is SO enjoyable), and further, be the strong FOUNDATION for our family we should be as a couple first.  Because I truly believe that the stronger couples are, the easier it is for the rest of the family to follow suit.  It's not as easy and carefree once kids come into the picture, but it's possible!  And we can find a way to bring that creative dating back to our lives again; even on a tight time/energy/money budget.

First step: Make our family mission statement! TOGETHER, for a date night--So excited!

I'm certain ours will be based off of The Family: A Proclamation to the World.  Because I LOVE that inspired document!  I'll be sure to include a picture of the finished product!

And for the men, you may enjoy this. (The movie related to the book is a little cheesy, but it's still great for the sap!)  I even have it (the book, not the movie) if you want to borrow it!

So, this is what has me renewed, rejuvenated, and inspired lately!  What's inspiring you?

Love, Actually.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Growing, Growing

Why is it so hard to clean out the baby clothes that don't fit Camden anymore? 

Every time I do this, it just gets more difficult. :O)  Oh, how I love my little boy...

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Holiday cheer? What's that this year?

I know the holidays are coming up, so what the heck is wrong with me?!  I am having a serious lack of motivation to get into the holiday spirit.  Don't get me wrong!  I am completely, 100% thrilled, ecstatic, and enamored to be going home for the holidays this year.  BOTH of the major holidays!  That hasn't happened in a long while.  It's just,  I have a lack of enthusiasm in getting our family involved in our typical traditions.  (Halloween almost entirely escaped me--besides, a pumpkin and some colorful corn husks, we didn't do one bit of decorating.  NOR did we do our usual chili in pumpkin bowl dinner--it didn't help, of course, that Camden ended up with a 104 degree fever on Halloween which prevented our trick-or-treating escapades and some dressing up in costume).  Why has this happened?! How can I get into the spirit?

Let me explain a few of my ideas before you shower me with yours (and please do).  First of all, we are potentially moving by the end of this year.  Potential is a stretch, as thus far, we have not nailed down a job following graduation.  So whether or not we are moving is pending.  Who wants to get out boxes of decor (even if that is a minimal amount) only to pack it all back up before the season ends and move on?  Don't pick me...

The second, and probably the reason most directly affecting my current problem, is in actuality, related to reason numero uno.  We do not have money with which to purchase gifts.  Okay, okay.  Some people's response would be...what happened to your 3-6 month emergency money supply?!  My response to that would be that it went out the window about 4 years ago when we were paying $6000 every four months for both of us to finish school.  Finish I have, finish Devin will, and hopefully, the emergency supply will come with a job (don't get me on that again :O).  But it's been pretty much non-existent (plus less) while Devin works only 16 hours at the Carpenter shop weekly, and I am trying to stay at home/earn money at home, to recover what cannot be earned monetarily by following BYU's 20 hour work week policy to cover our monthly bills.  I am currently in the market for additional ideas. 

Third, perhaps it has been my failing health this past year? Am I simplifying out of necessity?  I seriously have the energy to only do the necessary things.  Maybe those other things just really aren't necessary after all?  But I'd like to create sweet memories for my children--if it's not possible to permanently ingrain it in their minds at young ages, at least in pictures.

Now that I'm off my soap box (or am I??), realize, I know that it's always a possibility to make gifts.  I, however, have no idea what I can make for Devin, Camden, my family (3 siblings, two parents, 2 sets of grandparents), and my husband's family (7 siblings, 2 parents, a niece, and 1 set of grandparents) on a $30 budget.  And some of that is probably money we don't actually have, but I am fooling myself into believing we do so I don't feel like a complete and utter failure.  You see, gift giving is BY FAR one of my favorite things to do.  There is literally an emptiness inside of me since we've been married because of my lack of funds to support this lovely hobby.  Does anyone out there have any ideas?  I am really needing something to get me into the holiday spirit*, and searching for gifts to give to my beloved family is a great contributor to making that happen.  I just LOVE seeing faces light up!

*(I'm talking excitement wise, NOT spiritually-minded, as Christ will always be the main focus of our Christmas experience and I know it will still be a wonderful Christmas without gifts because of the real celebration of that day)

My family is just so very generous to us all throughout the year.  It would be wonderful to attempt to make up at least 1% of that generosity!

P.S.  Making my own decorations to get in the spirit is likely not an option (including garage sales--because my mother-in-law does that for us for Camden's clothes--which I say "THANK YOU, THANK YOU" repeatedly because it literally saves us!), due to lack of funds.  Unless, of course, you know of places I can pick up FREE DIY Thanksgiving/Christmas decor items :O)  Which, by the way, I would love dearly; especially if it's something Camden and I could do together while Devin's at school/work.

And any and all prayers are appreciated as we are in the limbo process of Devin's future career, and will be out of a job come the end of December (due to the fact that Devin's job is a student one--in which he needs to be a STUDENT to keep).  I'm not stressing....yet :O)

Love to you all! And here's to hoping your holiday spirit is coming more easily to you this year than it is to me!  It can certainly make for a light, more joyful season if it so occurs!

Happy are we, Happy are we

This is the man that doesn't get enough face time on the blog, but deserves a lot more (and yes, he's wearing my sweater).  He just doesn't like getting his picture taken; so it's rather difficult to complete whole posts on him alone without using the same material.

He calls me his pookie.  Don't know where that came from, but I prefer it over Rooski (my other nickname) any day.

That's just him--so "creative" like that.  He is definitely his own person--no ifs, ands, or butts about it.  He won't be coerced into being someone else, but he is never satisfied with just staying at the level he is at present either.  Each Sunday, and everyday really, he takes time to ponder, set goals, evaluate past goals, and make a new resolve to be even better the next week.  And he does.

I wish I could be more like that really.  He's a great example of setting goals and carrying them through.

Dev wouldn't necessarily be considered a romantic (that's not obvious, is it??), but he's still sweet, zesty, and always striving to be a better husband and father; especially in the ways that truly count.  He calls our family to scripture study and prayer each day.  He gives me priesthood blessings on a regular basis.  He holds a family council every week.  He fulfills his callings.  He serves others regularly. He works hard at keeping his body healthy and involved.  He writes in a journal. Etc. Etc.  "Always striving" doesn't do it justice.

Camden LOVES his father.  When Daddy gets home from work/school, Camden is immediately excited.  Daddy is a good friend.  He is playful.  He is involved. 'Dad' was his first word for a reason, and Dad makes Camden a very happy boy!
(L-just clownin' around, R-best buds bouncing
--and hanging on for dear life!)

Devin also knows who he is--in a spiritual light as well as a mental/physical/emotional.  He knows what he wants, he knows what he likes, and he knows what keeps him happy. And he DOES the things to keep it so. Not only that, but he knows when I am getting too busy to DO the things I love, and he makes sure they happen.  He is constantly encouraging me to play the piano (SUCH an emotional outlet for me) by asking if we can sing together (this does not fall within his comfort zone btw).  He allows me my freedom to do what I need to do to make me feel good right 'along' with him (currently Zumba and Soccer games, and sometimes a massage!).   He is my protector; my equal--my other advocate.

He does the menial tasks of the family as well.  Nothing is beneath him when it comes to his family.  That is ultimately the most important thing to me, and I am grateful that he is so wise.

I can't adequately express my Happy Birthday sentiments to my husband without thanking this wonderful woman who birthed him.
(Hint: the one on the right; though
I know it's difficult to tell, since they're both
so young, vibrant and beautiful)

She has taught him peace.  She has taught him calm.  She has taught him wisdom is found in the Lord. And she has taught him to keep it simple; all the while going for everything he desires--but to make sure, above all else, that he and his family are truly happy.  *And HAPPY we are!

Happy to celebrate his big 27!!! 
LOVE and HUGS to you Sweetie Petey! 

*She has obviously also taught him her picture evading skills, because that is basically the only picture I have managed to take of her in the 5+ years I've known her

Monday, November 1, 2010


 We had a GREAT time at the pumpkin patch a few weeks ago!  Luckily, it was in between Camden's sick times!
 He got his first ride in a wagon (right)
And every pumpkin was a 'ba'--ball (left)

What is this thing? (left)
Oh, is this what I'm supposed to be doing? (right)

 He loved the mirror room,

climbing through tunnels,

staying busy running around from one exciting thing to another,

the bounce house,

and the animals! (This was, by the way, the goat that bit his arm while
Camden was practicing being "soft"--I guess the ole' Billy didn't even want a slight stroke)

 Daddy wasn't with mommy and me at the pumpkin patch, so I wouldn't sit very still.  
That's also why Mom and I didn't get any pictures together.  I 
think you won't mind though, since I'm definitely the cuter of the two! :O)

We really had a lot of fun at the patch!  We definitely got lost in the cornmaze, but Camden loved, loved, LOVED the free space to just walk and walk and walk as he pleased!  Seeing all of the colorful characters was also a lot of fun, though difficult to get him to sit still to capture his face in the circles.  I think the funniest part was when the goat bit him.  Honestly, I know I should have, but I wasn't expecting it!  I've taught Camden to be very soft with animals.  With no signs about ferocious, baby-attacking goats in sight, I thought he was good to go.  At first touch, everything seemed fine, but as Camden began to stroke Billy, he turned right around and chomped down on Camden's right arm. I couldn't resist laughing out loud!  Camden turned to me with the most pitiful tears in his eyes and puckered down lips and began to cry.  I know, I'm an awful mother, but it was just so darn funny--only because no Camden's were actually hurt in the making of this story.  It was just a startled reaction.

We had a good old time at Pumpkinland.  Picked out a few pumpkins and some corn to add a little Fall to our living room.  I think, despite the goat, Camden will enjoy going again! And so will I!

Behold the little ones...

I've had a flurry of emotions as of late.

My computer is nearly dead and so I have been making preparations to make sure I do not lose my photos permanently.  As I was saving all of my picture files to, I began to look at the pictures of Camden's birth.  What is absolutely amazing to me, is how VERY much CAMDEN it is!  Can you even imagine that a little newborn would have so many tendencies that he continues at present?   I hadn't paid as much attention to this at the time of his birth--why would I? I mean, I couldn't have known--but he had the same squished up wailing face when crying--stiff top lip, crinkled lower lip and all.  That peaceful face he adorns whilst in sleep? The same!  Even the way he smiles and looks at me is so similar. 

It's truly amazing to remember that they come with their own little real personalities!  They are who they are!  Not that they can't be shaped into something else, but there's something specific there, and it starts before/at birth.

I just couldn't help but think of all of this as I was flipping through several of the photos (many of which blogger won't load, so I just have to put similar pictures to what has already been posted).

Thursday, October 28, 2010

I love that my mom is so wise

She just is! It's truly a gift from heaven, but know that it's takes a lot of effort on her part as well.
From everyday discussions of gospel principles, to physics and mathematics, to how to treat people well, she is truly an inspiration to behold.  I love that she is my mother and has taught me so well the things that are really essential in this life and the eternities.  She continues to be one of my best, and always trusted, friends as well as a mentor, mother, emotional physician, and encourager.

She treats others with kindness, love, and respect; and can calm some of the most difficult situations. Always giving and giving of herself to her family, friends, and even strangers. I wish everyone could have a mother as impacting for good.  She is my mother--a mother so wise.

P.S.  On a completely separate note as this, I really have to thank all of those who have shown me support in this last week.  As I deal with this, I would love to talk with each one of you for your experiences, stories, hard-ships, contacts, and advice, though, it will take me time to do so.  Thank you for being so kind.  Thank you for caring.   I cannot tell you how appreciative I really feel that you would all read, encourage, and band together in a process that will certainly take some healing for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you, forever and ever.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Our little peanut :O(

This week was an extremely difficult week for me.  Overwhelming to say the least--and rather heartbreaking on a number of levels.

To so many, it will sound silly and rather childish that I am reacting so strongly to this news, but bear with me a minute while I explain why it is so exhausting.  You see, Monday, we confirmed Camden's allergy to milk and found out he also has an allergy to peanuts.  It was one I suspected after a recent reaction, but was hoping very strongly that it was the new bread he tried that day, with perhaps a little more milk, rather than the PB; especially since he had peanut butter several times prior to that incident.

So, my child is now a PA child, which is SO much harder than a milk allergy (not to be mistaken for milk intolerance, he is ACTUALLY allergic and could go into anaphylactic shock should his body decide to attack itself worse than usual). 

The day of his testing at the allergist office.  Lots of smaller dots indicate nothing, 
but the couple of bigger welts indicate an allergy.  They are covered with a cleanser 
and some medication at this point, but they were pretty large 

It's hard to take pictures of a little moving man, so this is the best I could do

At first, I just wanted to cry because I have heard how much more dangerous peanut allergies can be than many others.  By now, I've already gone through the denial phase (Monday-Thursday-- where I tried not to think much of it except education on the epipen, just in case) and now the obsession phase (Friday-Saturday--could possibly continue based on the fact that I really want to research what needs to be done and we have follow up appointments with the allergist in the near future).

Now, I'm asking myself, "where do we go from here?"  And I don't know the answer to that question.  Partially because I do need to speak with our allergist before I can really begin to be OCD about it (just to get validation it's ok TO be OCD), and otherwise because I don't want, in the meantime, to give Camden something he should not have on accident.  The difficult part is certainly wondering how to respond.

We can avoid plain peanuts pretty easily.  That means most candy (just in time for Halloween), peanuts, peanut butter, etc.  You know, the easy things to rule out.  They even, from what I understand, have a peanut butter-like substance for kids just with this allergy.  So great!  But then there's the unknowns.  Though I should verify with the doctor that we really need to worry about cross-contamination issues and hidden peanut ingredients, I am beginning this journey now.  It's exhausting!  Do you know that many places you go out to eat includes peanut butter as a thickening agent in their chilis, sauces (including pizza sauce), and potato items; others have desserts with peanuts (presenting cross-contamination issues); while most of the rest have either peanuts all over their floor or cook with peanut oil (which is still an argument in itself).  My favorite restaurants--Texas Roadhouse and P.F. Chang's--are now on the no-no list.  Not that we eat out a lot, but it will be difficult to never really be able to do it again; and if we do, we have to be extremely inquisitive about all ingredients and cross-contamination issues, etc. etc. Also, could I cross-contaminate things if just Devin and I go to these places on a date? It's possible. Pretty much, I have to be anal! 

Besides those issues, grocery shopping is a nightmare!  Yesterday, I completed our first trip to the store.  Lots of prior research and about double the amount of usual time and money later, we came home with foods that I am hoping are completely peanut, peanut oil, beaucoup milk, tree nut*, and cross-contamination free! I have to check EVERYTHING for hidden ingredients or manufacturing issues. Many manufacturers produce products that were also manufactured on machines that peanut/tree nuts are manufactured on, so those items even have to be avoided. Some items are unclear, so I need to come home and call/write the manufacturers to be really sure it's safe.    

*Tree nuts have been added to the list since the Dr. called in reference to his blood test which indicates other (including sunflower seeds) nuts I have to worry about.

There's also the idea that it's possible we will always have to carry his own food with us to, or stay away from, places where people have brought foods in which we cannot be sure the ingredients and/or cross contamination are involved.  This may include ward parties, birthday parties, class parties, dinner with friends and family, Thanksgiving or Christmas dinners, etc. etc. I think he can still be in the same room as peanuts, though some kids can't, but he can NEVER be given something to eat from someone else unless I know exactly what's in it.  I don't know about you, but that's going to be IMPOSSIBLE at my family Thanksgiving dinners.  My family is a nut family, pretty much everything has nuts or traces of it (even stuffing).

Camden's going to be that kid in class who has the peanut allergy and ruins the parties.  I'm hoping it doesn't become too much of an emotional issue for him and me in the future (I am already hovering over him, while he's sleeping, a little compulsively to make sure he is still breathing and his heart rate is ok*).  With that, I should back's possible that this particular allergy can go away.  The milk one is more likely (80% will grow out of it in the first couple of years) and the peanut one is much smaller (20% will grow out of it at sometime in their life).  I am hopeful that this will be the case for him.  Otherwise, there are some people who say they may soon find a cure (soon as in by the time he is a teenager).  I want to stay positive, but I also want to be careful.  I could never forgive myself if I were a little relaxed and Camden went into anaphylactic shock and died! 
 *It doesn't help that he cannot yet speak; so he can't tell me if specific symptoms are beginning to indicate shock may occur

Devin, of course, is much more blase about the situation than I am.  It is probably good he is that way because it will keep me grounded in many ways.  Once we go to the doctor, we will have more answers, and therefore know how to handle this circumstance.

Overall, I am just incredibly overwhelmed.  From the food issues, the money issues, the social issues, the emotional issues, and the mental (yes, it could perhaps force me to super-anxiety), I am just not entirely sure how to handle it.  Surely, it will get easier with time.  I have faith that all will work out accordingly, but I also know that faith requires action and I must do all I can first and leave the rest in God's hands (without, you know, making him and the outcast of the century--I really do want him to be a "normal" child!).  I am trying to be patient.  I know that this is a life lesson for me.  I can already see why God has given me this trial-patience!  For Camden's sake, I will always try to be prepared so he will be safe but won't feel left out.  Interestingly enough, in Camden's baby blessing, Devin blessed him with the ability to see everyone as his equal throughout his life. At the time, I thought it was a little different; now however, I believe it will help him greatly in dealing with a trial that many children get bullied about.  Perhaps there is more to that statement than just this instance, but I certainly think it applies here.

As you can see, I am basically just word-vomiting everything that comes to mind right now.  It's impossible to imagine all of the possibilities--every minute of the day I think of another concern, worry, or circumstance that could be affected.  I better just take a rest.  The headache I've had for the last several days needs a break and surely, I'll have more to say at various times for my own emotional fulfillment and mental sanity.  Please pray for me and my dear, sweet little peanut!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Hand over Heart

Camden and I went to the BYU Homecoming Day Parade this morning.  I was excited because I really thought he would enjoy it!  He's such an inquisitive little guy, so I just figured he would love it!  They marched down the street and the DJ announced for everyone to take off their hats to show reverence to the flag as the BYU Air Force ROTC presented the flag and the Army ROTC followed close behind.  Immediately, I was overcome by emotion.  Emotion I had NOT expected at such a happening moment in time.  Even as I write this, I get choked up and a knot in my stomach.  I just love this country in which my family and I are blessed to live!   And I love those who sacrifice their lives and families to protect us and our freedoms. 

Friday, October 8, 2010

A chef and a feeding

 He's a great helper in the kitchen, eh?  Whenever I'm cooking now, that chair comes right over with him.  He wants to help!

Lovin' the peach season!  Would stuff the whole thing in his mouth if I would let him

Feed the ducks-tuppins a bag.  He thought it was hilarious that they would go after the bread like that!

He's practicing to become World's Strongest Man. Ok, so he's got a long way to go...
 One last duck chase before we leave the park!