Thursday, October 20, 2011

All I can do

This broke my heart today.  I mean, it hit me HARD.  And I'm not even entirely sure why.  Part of it may be that these pregnancy hormones are affecting me a little crazier this time than the last (so I've definitely been more emotional/grumpy, but that's for another post), however some of it is for sure warranted.  I mean, I know as well as anyone that media can put a huge spin on things.  I know they can make you believe something that is a little (or a lot) off the truth and that we have to use our rational brains to pick apart and dissect what is real verses made up, however, the idea of this actually happening, if it is true, frankly sickens me.  And that is my fear---that it IS true.

I mean, I look at that man, and he's about the age of my own father.  I can't possibly imagine my dad being hungry.  Not having anywhere to go.  And then resorting to something he knew was wrong, feeling the pang of guilt, trying to do right by it, and then suffer the consequences to an outrageous degree.

I continue trying to console myself by thinking about the possibilities going to jail MAY have (but probably not) offered this homeless man.  Regular food, shelter, a chance for detox?, companionship??  But I also know how insane, scary, and downright dangerous prison can be.  And my heart ACHES.  I literally bawl my eyes out EVERY time I see this.  I can't believe that a man who is starving, trying to change (perhaps??) his life, and then realizing a mistake and trying to recompense that mistake ends up in jail approximately 5 times longer than a man who probably affected the consequences for millions more in a painstaking and irrevocable way (I mean, c'mon. THREE BILLION dollars!!), but it is a white collar crime....and it is not in Louisiana.  I may be inferring and therefore implying too many things about that, but still, I can't help but feel our country is not where it needs to be--in many things--but especially in equality among all men.  We still have a long way yet to go.

I don't know the backgrounds of these men, and honestly, it doesn't matter to me from an issue point of view (it matters like crazy to me from a personal point of view).  The punishment does not fit the crime, and men, women, REAL HUMAN BEINGS, cannot be left to be treated this way.  Left starving and for want--I don't care what the reason, let God be his judge.  I know there must be consequences to our actions, but I just can't believe this is the right outcome, and I fear for our world.  True, I may not be as faithful as I should be, but this kind of story rests on my soul for quite a long time because I just don't know how it can be fixed.  And I am, to a certain extent, an idealist.  I want the world to be a better place.  I want people to feel loved and to love.  I want for people to have their bellies full and their hearts warm; a place to call home.  I want all to have their loneliness satiated and their righteous desires fulfilled.  And I know how that can be done. 

the Atonement.
and our Hands.

So I continue to say, please Lord, "grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage [and will] to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference."

And for now, that's all I can do. 

(except, perhaps, continue to bawl my eyes out)


Michelle said...

So, so sad. I agree.

And on a happier note, congrats on the pregnancy!

llcall said...

You know I agree with you (even though I'm way late commenting) -- our world is not where we need to be. But by being who you are and teaching your soon-to-be children about these issues, you will be doing a great thing to help. And crying isn't such a bad response either; it shows your humanity. That's always a good thing.