How to

How to eat pizza:

Suck on it.  Just suck and suck until you can't suck anymore.  That way, you burn calories WHILE you eat, and you get so tired of sucking, you won't finish it anyway--it just takes TOO long.  This is how I prevent myself from gaining any weight at all.  But, mommy can sometimes convince me to chew if she breaks my food into small enough pieces--then again, I still want to wait until I am in the mood to chew.  Sometimes, I just swallow pieces whole.  In fact, this eating process can make me so exhausted, I fall asleep in the shower. Mom then takes embarrassing pictures of me in a doggie towel (which I love, but won't admit to anyone).