This one's for Grandma

I LOVE MY BOOKS!!

Love you Grams!

(I tried to capture pictures while he was reading, without him noticing; however, he saw me almost immediately and started cheesin' it up!)

Self reflections of a slightly jaded person

Yes, that would be me, Meghan Marie Waters Romney. This post by a woman I don't even know, really defines how I have been feeling in the last year. Though, the comment made (regarding said post) below, is a little more applicable to my life in particular.

"Thanks for being willing to share. I love how God uses the little things to teach us big lessons. I'm being taught a similar lesson now, but He's chosen to use my health. I have always excelled at pretty much anything that I set my hand to... Now, I have had to quit my job, I do not have the physical capability to burn my candle at one end much less both, and I can no longer carry on an intelligent conversation without forgetting what I was saying (or where I am for that matter) in mid sentence. I have nothing left of myself to be rely on and so have become completely dependent upon God. He has stripped me of what I thought was my identity to show me that I am nothing without Him , but with Him, I am an heir to throne of God."- -Jenn
I am coming around. It's sad really. I thought there was a time in my life where I was very dependent on God; where I had learned true happiness is in the Gospel. Through some depression and mistakes made, I forgot that and lost some of my identity. I tried to grasp it back in any way possible--and mostly through needing things from people-affirmation, attention, praise, yada yada. I forgot (though never fully lost) my identity as simply, yet ASTOUNDINGLY, a daughter of God. What more could I need!? And as I have "sacrificed" all of that praise and adoration to bring a child in the world and leave all feelings of immediate gratification and accomplishment aside (that, along with a significantly different physical self), I have slowly been finding myself again. You know, the person I felt so good--just good, not better--to be so long ago. I miss that me. I want that me back. I'm working hard to do it. It's not easy. And the mistakes I've made have brought even more difficulty to the process. But it will happen as I turn myself over to Him and stop worrying about what others are thinking. So what if I see a picture of a girl on facebook who looks not one pound heavier than she was before becoming pregnant immediately following childbirth?! You know, that one that has her hair and make up done and is dressed to the "T" on the way home from the hospital? I wasn't her (as can obviously be identified by seeing many of the not-so-flattering pictures that are actually posted on my blog.) I am still not her. I feel good if I can get myself showered by 3:00 in the afternoon! What about so-and-so who is bragging and smearing pictures of the fabulous vacations they've been on in the last couple of months, or jane doe who never has to wear the same outfit twice!? Not me! Is that ok? Certainly. I will echo the quote Erin spoke once again:

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,

but on what is unseen.

For what is seen is temporary,

but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:18

Now, I will work on being more content with my own unseen. And less hurt when others are not as content to do the same.

Anyway, on a lighter note (though only slightly, as it is both breaking my heart and bringing me unbridled joy all at once), my little boy is growing up! Even as we speak! And I seriously just can't handle it. No really, just ask my husband what keeps me up moaning like Myrtle (you know, Moaning Myrtle) at 12:30 in the AM? But that's for another time, another post.

You talkin to ME?!

-Every time I say a prayer on Camden's and my meal, he always looks behind him and wonders who I'm talking to.
-When I tell Camden "no," he looks at me, shakes his head "yes" and keeps on doing it until the third time I say "no."  Then, he shakes his head "no" too and goes on to do something else.

-When Camden gets to hold my phone, he gets so excited he literally tries to squeeze it as hard as possible.  It looks like he's about to have a seizure.
-Lately, Camden has mysteriously been eating crackers I never gave him.  Come to find out, he kept going through his diaper bag, when I wasn't looking, to get treats.
-I'm beginning to realize I can't get strip in front of Camden anymore to take a shower.  As soon as I start undressing, he laughs hysterically at me.  I realize I'm not in THAT great of shape, but come on! :O)


He LOVES:
-cuddling his blue blankie in bed
-his 'ba ba' (bottle)  (why no, he is no longer nursing.  Turns out, having mastitis for 5 months really decreases your milk supply--and your stamina--for nursing)
-or his 'ba ba' (ball)
-goldfish
-rolling cars
-singing/playing the piano
-playing in the refrigerator
-the pool
-my computer printer
-pulling books off the shelf/reading himself stories
-jumping on his bed
-pulling the fan/light cords to turn them on and off
-walking as fast as possible
-steering wheels

• -eating (though last time we went to the doc, he had dropped to the 13th percentile for weight.  Is that even possible? for a child that was born in the 96th percentile?

  In Mexico during Hurricane Alex 

(why yes, a whole other story to tell)

P.S.  Wasn't that an AWESOME thunderstorm last night?!

I know it's been a while, BUT...

...I still don't really have time to update about our family; even though A TON has happened to us in the last couple of months, however, this is very important to me and I want to get the message out.  Please view this website to learn more about a girl named Kolby (from my hometown and in my cousin's ward).  Then, if you feel there is any way you can help with THIS auction for her and her family--whether through bidding on an auctioned item, or auctioning your own item, or EVEN just passing along the word to all you know--it would be greatly appreciated! Along with the extreme medical costs involved, cancer is a tough road for the individual and all family and friends involved; especially with someone so young.  If there is anything you can do, I know you will be blessed and you could never find a more appreciative family than that of Kolby.  Please, help us in our quest of KEEPING KOLBY. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

There is also a website that is solely for making donations, if that is your preference.

Happy Easter Everyone!

My cute sister (and Camden's Aunt Joo Joo) bought him this adorable outfit (with his Grandma Silly's help).  Then she dressed him up and took some pics of him while the rest of us moved over to the new place.  She did a great job!  Love her, love him!

We just love him bundles and bundles!!!

If any friends in Utah need pictures. Let me know! My sister loves taking pictures, and she's super cheap too!

Joy and Love

Today, I have a bit of a heavy heart.  You see, we moved most of our stuff this weekend to a new apartment where we will begin a new a very different life. One for which I am both grateful and nervous.  Not only that, but I am realizing how very much I will miss this place I have called home for a little over a year.

I know that with every change I come across, I will first feel the sorrow of leaving behind that which I have come to love.  In the moments before the change, there are things that may be difficult and I hope and long for the change.  Then, when it actually comes to fruition, I mourn over the loss of what was once.  Now is no different. I am still quite ecstatic, but realizing, that the joy of leaving is somewhat shadowed by the reminiscing and the notion that things were probably not as 'bad' (definitely a relative term) as I had previously thought.  In reflecting on those things, I have much for which to be grateful.

I do not believe I could have grown more, and our family could have grown closer, through any other situation we may have experienced in our young lives.  We have had our fair share of challenges; even in our short 3.3 years of marriage, but this has by far brought us the greatest challenge and the greatest joys.

It's the simple things in life for which I am most grateful now.  I know it may sound silly, but I am grateful for a kitchen that will be within 50 feet of me, the opportunity to get up early (yes, I did just say EARLY) and make breakfast--a REAL breakfast--for my family, being able to take care of my child's needs almost immediately instead of having to delay him for several minutes (or hours) while I keep the schedule needed with the elderly couple, being able to show up at Devin's school just for a surprise, or baking cookies on a Sunday afternoon, etc. etc.  It will be wonderful to go into the fridge and know what is there and realize that the couple's children haven't just come and used what I was going to use to make dinner that night.  It will be fabulous to be able to leave the house at my will and pleasure to go to the grocery store or just to take a stroll.  No longer the worries of elderly bowels, medications, finances, home care, extended family's wishes, particular meals, doctor and therapy appointments, therapy homework, life cards and DNRs, bills and mail, lost items, constant repetition, late night changes and fall recovery, cleaning, organizing their affairs, etc.  But the chance to be our own family.  A family without another family's everyday concerns in addition to our own.  (Though, if I had to apply before I became a mother, it would have given me the very best practice and qualifications to do so.)

On the other hand, I am going to miss them.  The cute little couple that has become rooted in my heart and soul forever.  The adopted great-grandparents that Camden has come to know so well.  The little family that has taken us into their home and made us a welcomed part of them.

They have taught me so much about life--not only through their spiritual strengths, but also through their challenges.  They have given me more patience than I ever thought possible.  You see, I can be a quite heated individual if you put me in the right situation.  It's always been a concern I've had, but I have, believe it or not, learned patience--something so very pertinent, in my mind, for raising children. 

They have taught us how to work together as a family.  We have truly learned the intricacies of family patterns.  Give and give, and give some more; even when you thought you had absolutely nothing left.  Devin and I are such a team--and it has only been enhanced by the child that has entered into our lives.

They have taught me about perseverance.  My goodness, I have never seen a man who is in so much pain working as hard as this 92 year old man!  He will not let up!  If his yard isn't in perfect order, he will do all he can to ensure that it is improved--even at the expense of his general health (indeed, there have been a few falls and some bloody messes; along with me trying to stop him in the first place because there are a lot of dangerous things for a 92 year old man to get into--much like a two year old).  His is a physical endurance.  One where you do not give up on your body; but rather, your body gives up on you.  You push it and push it until the life just runs out.

Then, there is the mental perseverance of the woman.  I would never last in her current condition.  My mind is too overbearing.  She continues to keep an optimistic outlook and attitude with life, though most would find nothing positive.  She is grateful and complimentary in even the worst and most embarrassing situations.  She has lost much of the dignity she once owned, due to a miserable disease, never to return.  And yet, she continues.  Head held high and forward pressing (figuratively speaking, of course, since she is mostly wheelchair and recliner bound).  And she focuses on hope for healing, but faith in Jesus Christ if it is not so. Her plan is the Lord's plan through and through.  She knows her purpose and destiny.

I've learned to talk a little sweeter, be a little more humble (or really a LOT more, since you can never be too humble really), fill myself with more gratitude, and never take for granted the smaller things life offers. 

I have loved this opportunity.  It has been a great service to them, but also to us. I will miss them something terrible.  I also know this new chapter in our lives will create more learning, more opportunity, and a peaceful feeling of following the Lord's plan for us.  He brought us here so we could be a family, so I wouldn't have to work away from home with a new baby, so we could have an ease from certain worldly concerns.  And He will guide us further.

I have full faith in Him and know He will direct our path.  As much as I have learned about love in this past year, I still cannot begin to understand the love which our Savior and Heavenly Father has for us.  He loves us! And with that (and with the full intention of sounding cliche), I know anything is possible!

Funny

Last night, I was whining to my husband about how I don't have any talents like all these other wives I see around me.  I guess I must be having some sort of identity crisis or something.  Just feeling a little bit useless.  All of these women are making businesses with their cake decorating, sewing, food preparation, house warming talents and well, I'm just not one of them.  I was even reading of one wife's budgeting talents on her blog and the following convo between Dev and I ensued (picture us in bed, Devin trying to fall asleep, and me going on and on about my lack of talents-nighttime seems to be my favorite time of the day to endlessly chat):

Me: "I don't have the talent of budgeting even."
Devin: "Yes, you do."
Me: "Dev, we don't even have a budget."
Devin: "Sure, we do.  It's called, Spend Nothing."

We had a good laugh about that one!  It's really, SO TRUE!  I know exactly what our fixed costs are each month and plan for those; otherwise, we really don't spend anything.  And I mean ANYTHING--except diapers, wipes, and an occasional bit on dates (but even then, we get buy 1 get 1 free meals or something cheap).  So, I guess you don't need a budget when you don't have any money after all...

Camden's so cute half birthday

 Blog title courtesy of Devin


Today is Camden's half birthday.  We didn't do anything out of the ordinary.  Except watch the madness that is March, that is.  I am currently ahead--and at this point, shouldn't have a difficult time winning the whole shebang.

Little tidbits about the half birthday boy (and this is more for me than for you):

• He rubs his eyes ferociously when he is tired.  Got that trait from his momma
• It's not quite crawling yet, but he has been up on all fours for a few weeks.  Just rockin' out
• The simple toys are his joys--none of those hit a button and the toy plays with itself kind of deals
• It's not too difficult for him to "egg on" his dad to the point of play--and play, they do!
• Light green and Camden do not go well together.  He is automatically mistaken for a girl when he wears that color.  And here I thought he was ALL BOY.
• He loves to EAT!  He'll go to the doc on Monday, and I'm sure we'll get the A-OK to feed him solids (I've already bought some carrots and bananas for the grand event)
• Sleeping at night has not been as much of an issue as of late.  He falls asleep and stays asleep (except for one feeding--which I'm hoping will change with more solid foods and juice), well now that his two bottom teeth have broken through.
• He's definitely letting us know when he dislikes something, such as when I take my cell phone back after he talks with Grandma
• There are only a few things that make him laugh hysterically!  And he really does sound like he's going to hyperventilate--or cry.  One of the two. I am not sure that I have ever seen a child laugh as hard for as long.  You know when you have one of those laugh-so-hard-I'm-gonna-pee-my-pants moments?  It's like that, but WORSE!  It's hilarious to watch, but there are only a few random things that have set him off.  And he will only laugh at it two or three times that way and then is seemingly annoyed that we continue to do it.  So we have yet to catch the real craziness on tape!  
• He is getting excited to move.  He doesn't know it yet, but every fiber of his being is jumping ecstatically.  Possibly because we're about to have more fun with one another.  It's all happening April 3rd (as long as this apartment doesn't fall through like the others--please pray for us--we are getting a little nervous about being homeless come April 5th)

And there you have it!  A happy, healthy, packing, and exhausted Romney family!

:-(

I'm not going to get smiley pictures of this toothless grin for much longer...

He's sproutin' teeth!

Confession

So, I have a somewhat weird confession to make on blogspot....

I notice all blogs with a tracker...you know the thing that tells them who visits the site.  Once I see it, I can't allow myself to look at the blog anymore.  It's like, I don't feel like an obsessive lunatic, but I don't want THEM to feel that way either.  Sometimes, if I REALLY like the blog, or it is close family, I may still show up once in a while.  But that is once in a GREAT while.  Is that crazy?!?!